Anton Aylward

Kansas Outlaws Evolution, “No Species Exempt”

If you are not familiar with The Onion then this report may come as a surprise to you.

Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.

It reminds you of the laws defining the value if Pi, doesn’t it?

Its quite comprehensive:

The sweeping new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from being born with random genetic mutations that could make them better suited to evade predators, secure a mate, or, adapt to a changing environment. In addition, it bars any sexual reproduction, battles for survival, or instances of pure happenstance that might lead, after several generations, to a more well-adapted species or subspecies.

And how will this be enforced?

To enforce the law, Kansas state police will be trained to investigate and apprehend organisms who exhibit suspected signs of evolutionary behavior, such as natural selection or speciation. Plans are underway to track and monitor DNA strands in every Kansan life form for even the slightest change in allele frequencies.

As if the police aren’t overworked and understaffed as it is.
And how will this affect you, should you happen to visit Kansas?

Human beings may be the species most deeply affected by the new legislation. Those whose cytochrome-c molecules vary less than 2 percent from those of chimpanzees will be in direct violation of the law.

This is, of course, driven by religious fun–damn–entalism:

“If Earth’s species were meant to change over successive generations through physical modifications resulting from the adaptation to environmental challenges, then God would have given them the genetic predisposition to select mates and reproduce based on their favorable heritable traits and their ability to thrive under changing conditions so that these advantageous qualities would be passed down and eventually encoded into the DNA of each generation of offspring,” Olathe public school teacher and creationist Joyce Eckhardt said. “It’s just not natural.”

From an economic point of view, prognostications are mixed. While this might cause Kansas to be ostracised as a tourist spot, surely other Creationists will flock there to show support. However from the point of view of trade:

Some warn that the strict wording of the law could have a deleterious effect on Kansas’ mostly agricultural economy, since it also prohibits all forms of man-made artificial selection, such as plant hybridization, genetic engineering, and animal husbandry.

GM foods, it would seem, are also excluded, since they would violate God’s law by having mankind pre-empt God’s prerogatives in this matter.

One wonders what other “God’s Prerogatives” adherents of the various religions world-wide might object to being pre-empted?

The State of Kansas

The State of Kansas (Photo credit: ChrisM70)

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